I decided today that I'm going to include a powerpoint slide show that I made for my Grandpa's funeral in my literacy narrative a long with a short (or long) synopsis of his life.  This will make my literacy narrative even later than it already is, but once I thought of it I couldn't not do it.  It make me sad to that I have to think about how I wish I knew more details of my Grandpa's life.  He was really cool and I know he did a lot of things but most of what I know is second hand.  I should have spent more time asking him questions.  We were really close when I was younger and in later years I haven't spent as much time with him as I should have and as I would have liked to.. 

I haven't looked at my literacy narrative in a couple weeks, but I think about it every day.  I want to work on it, but I was a little afraid to work on it.  I really want this literacy narrative to be something that I am proud of and I worry that I will never be able to do enough work that I am satisfied with it.

  Going back to school and getting my teaching degree is really important to me.  Every time I tell people that is what I'm doing I get a weird or incredulous look.  I get the feeling every time that people think it is a terrible idea, and every time I second guess my choice.  But I always come back to the same conclusion:  this is something that I really want to do.  Even if I'm bad at it, and even if I fail it's something that I have to do, or I will always wonder what my life would have been like, and I would wonder about the children who's lives I maybe impacted.  

I guess I got a little off topic.  You may be wondering how my literacy narrative ties into how I feel about teaching.  I am scared of my literacy narrative because it's important to me and I want it to be great.  I want to express myself and I want to be proud of it and I want to share it with everyone.  And that is what I want my teaching career to be.  I have spent a lot of time in my life being afraid of failing, and being afraid of my decisions instead of trusting my instincts and acting.  This is the most important thing I need to overcome.  Because if I can't be proud of my work, and if I can't trust myself and what I am doing, I cannot teach students to do the same.